In My Next Life
I am sitting here trying to think of something to Blog about it normally Lolly is not stuck for words. Will I write about Health? Will I write about Fashion? Will I write about Sex? Will I write about Men?
This Evening Ladies & Gents I am going to write about what I’m going to do in my next life. So I have decided I want to live it backwards a bit like Benjamin Button but with a few twists !
Ok so, here is what I want to wake up to. I would like to wake up in an Old Folks Home with everyone screaming and shouting with confusion wondering who the person is sitting next to me! When in reality we have all been friends in the Old Folks Home for the past ten years. I want to be eyeing up all the young Doctors and discussing with all my friends if they were 40 years younger who’d tickle their fancy.
I want to be the one that sneaks all Wine into all the auld lads and auld ones late at night and get a huge big sing song going a 4am in the morning with nothing but the best of Rod Stewart banging out driving all the Doctors & Nurses insane that they have no choice but to put us all out with copious amounts of valum so we’re off our rockers going about. I want to be kicked out of the Old Folks Home for causing to much havoc and disturbing the peace with my best friend. I would have to have a partner in crime!
After getting kicked out of the Old Folks Home I want to then go and collect the pension which is back dated a few years to give us a good kick start in life and then start my first day at work. I want to be promoted in my job within the first 24 hours where I am given my very own office with a scenic 360degree view of Manhattan preferably on Wall Street and be known as the Irish Granny who got kicked out of the Old Folks Home whom has now become the Wolverine of Wall Street.
I want to work my ass off really hard for the next 50 years so I am young enough to enjoy my retirement. I want to party. I want to travel to every single nook and cranny of the World discovering everything the World has to offer preferably with my perfect soul-mate that has also got thrown out of the Home. I want to go to Festivals all over the world at least once a month and head line a stage doing something silly maybe a bit of comedy or clumsy dancing, possible throw in a bit of singing I haven’t a bad little voice, well so I’m told. I want to be the first woman to bring Home An All Ireland Hurling Title to Ireland and go down in the History Books for being the hottest bitch on the pitch!
I want to then get ready for Primary School and have absolutely no responsibilities and play endlessly for hours and hours. I then want to become a baby until I am born and then spend the last 9 months floating in a really warm cocoon with central heating with room service on tap been fed delicious food through my mammy’s tummy and then I want to finished off with one big huge Screaming Multiple Orgasm.
The End
Have a great Day Everyone Love Lolly xx
